Volume 1 Chapter 2

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♥

The next day… I overslept…

“…Hngh… Oohh… It’s 7:30 already… Huuuhh?!”

I grabbed the phone next to my bed and was surprised when I saw the time. I jumped out of the bed and quickly went down the stairs.

This is bad, this is really bad.

When a housewife wakes up and 7:30, the day is done for in a lot of ways.

At 7:30… My daughter should be leaving the house!

“Aaahh… What do I do now? Breakfast… no lunch… Wait, no, first I need to wake up Miu…”

“…Ah, good morning, mom.”

When I finished going down the stairs desperately, I saw Miu in the living room.

“You’re finally awake.”

“M-Miu… I-I’m so sorry, I’ll make breakfast right away…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve already eaten some cereal.” Miu answered calmly. It seemed like she had just finished her breakfast.

When I looked at her again, I noticed that she was wearing her uniform, her hair was combed, and her backpack was on her shoulder.

She looked ready to go to class.

“Yesterday I went to bed early, so I woke up early as a result. Ah, I’ll buy something for lunch, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I see… I’m so sorry. Tomorrow I’ll cook like usual.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Although, it is unusual for you to doze off, did you stay up until late drinking with Taku-nii?”

“…?!”

The moment I heard Takkun’s name, I immediately tensed up. My sleepy head woke up instantly.

“U-Uhm… I-I-I guess…”

My voice was shaking so much it sounded more like a laugh and my eyes were quickly darting from side to side. (TLN: Since I’m not reading the Japanese version, what I think she’s saying is “A-A-Atashi” and hence sort of sounds like a laugh, but I may be wrong.)

We hadn’t actually stayed up that late yesterday.

I went to bed around 11, like I always do.

It’s just that… I couldn’t sleep at all.

I spent the entire night spinning around under my sheets.

—I love you, Ayako-san.

The shocking confession I received yesterday before going to bed, a very serious confession, kept going around in my head…

“…Something wrong mom? You’re all red, are you okay?”

“Ehh?!”

I touched my cheeks and I was immediately surprised at how hot my face was.

“Do you have a fever? Should I bring the thermometer?”

“I-I’m okay! Really, I’m okay!”

“Alright then… Ah, Taku-nii, good morning.”

My mind, which was a mess thinking about last night’s events, suddenly came back to reality. Before I had realized it, the doorbell rang, and my daughter’s childhood friend came to pick her up as usual.

“Yes, good morning, Miu.”

Then, Takkun looked at me.

“G-Good morning, Ayako-san…”

His voice was tense, and his expression a little stiff. He seemed awkward and embarrassed.

And so was I… My head was blank. Despite seeing his face every day, I couldn’t look at it right now.

“G-G-G-Good morning, Takkun… Ah?!”

When I remembered how I looked, I felt embarrassed. I was still in my sleepwear, and my hair was all disheveled. I tried to comb my hear with my hands in a hurry.

“I-I’m so sorry! I must look terrible right now…!”

“Why are you worrying so much about that, mom…? It’s not like it’s Taku-nii’s first time seeing you in your sleepwear.”

After Miu’s cold remark, I suddenly became self-conscious of the situation. He had spent many nights with us two and had often seen me in my sleepwear. He had seen me without makeup and even woken me up before.

U-Uwaa~~ I’m so ashamed!

What am I doing?!

Why am I reacting like a teenage girl?!

I felt more shamed about how I had reacted from being in my sleepwear than being in my sleepwear.

It’s as if…

As if I suddenly felt conscious of Takkun as a man…

“Miu… I’m sorry but, would you mind going ahead?”

Ignoring my shame and confusion, Takkun turned toward my daughter.

“I have something to talk about with Ayako-san.”

“Hm? Well, I don’t mind.”

Miu looked puzzled, but without pressing any further, she put on her shoes and left by herself.

The door closed.

The moment the two of us were left alone, an indescribable tension filled the room.

And after a brief silence:

“Did you oversleep?” Takun asked. “It’s rare for that to happen.”

“Y-Yes… I just couldn’t fall asleep.”

“…I also couldn’t sleep at all last night” he said, while staring directly at me.

His eyes were as terribly serious as they were yesterday.

“Ayako-san, I-”

“Y-Yes! I know, I know!” I raised my voice unconsciously.

I interrupted his words, as if refusing to listen to what he was going to say next.

“I-I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything yesterday!”

“Eh…?”

“That’s why… you don’t have to worry about anything at all, Takkun. I-It was because of that, right? Because you were drunk, wasn’t it? That’s why… well… you felt a bit weird and that happened, right? I get it… I completely understand.” 

“Ayako-san… I…”

“L-Let’s forget about it. Let’s forget about everything that happened yesterday. I-It’s okay, no harm was done… I already am an old lady. I’m not a little girl that takes conversations between drunk people seriously—”

“Ayako-san!”

His strong and serious voice startled me.

“Why do you say that…?”

Takkun… had a face I had never seen before. He looked angry and sad at the same time.

“Yesterday, I… certainly was a little drunk and in a good mood. And I may have said something in the heat of the moment… I can’t deny that.”

“But,” he continued.

“Everything I said yesterday was true.”

“…”

“I love you, Ayako-san. I’ve always loved you…” said Takkun.

And then he kept going, as if he no longer had any self-control left.

He tried to convey his feelings for me…

“For you, I’m probably just a kid, and I’ve thought about giving up on you many times… However, I can’t erase my feelings for you. I’d like to have a serious relationship with you.”

“Takkun…”

“You don’t have to answer me right now… But… I’d be happy if you thought about it.”

“Well then… Goodbye.” He said.

And then he left.

I weakly fell down to my knees afterwards.

“…Was he being serious?”

He didn’t seem to be joking. If last night’s confession had been a joke… if everything was because of the alcohol, it would have been unexpected, but to be honest, I expected it to be just a joke.

Because of that, almost unconsciously, I decided to take all of this as a joke.

I proposed forgetting about everything.

However,

His sincerity, his passion… Didn’t allow my clever escape plan to work.

And now I’m in a situation where I have no choice but to fight his determination head on.

Takumi Aterazawa’s true feelings…

“Takkun… He really loves me… He has always loved me and suffered from a one-sided love… Uuh… Ah… Uwa… Ah…”

I grabbed my head in agony. Before, I was embarrassed for going to the front door in my sleepwear, but now I was so confused that my head simply gave up altogether.

“…W-What should I do…?”

♠

“Takumi, wake up” someone shook my shoulders and I opened my eyes.

I was in room 102 of the Economics’ department building.

I had a class for my modern economics major… But it looked like I had passed out. I quickly raised my head, but there was no trace of the teacher and the students were leaving already.

“Shit…”

“I took notes of the most important things, wanna copy them?”

“Ah, thanks. That’s a huge help.”

“It’s okay, you’re always the one helping me.” Said Satoya while smiling kindly at me. The notes he gave me had the most important part of the class and they were neatly written.

Satoya Ringou.

He was short and skinny. His face was so childish that he looked like a middle school student, and his long hair was tied back.

We didn’t even look the same age.

He wore fashionable clothes and all kinds of shiny accessories. Even though he was a man, his nails were painted with a dark nail polish. It made me have a certain prejudice old people had with people like him.

In short, he was a young, handsome, fashionable man with a cute face.

He was a friend from the same department. I met him at the university, and we had the same classes together. Since we had the same classes, we often spent time together.

“Although, this is quite unusual, I still can’t believe you passed out during class.”

“I couldn’t really sleep much last night.”

“Hm? Did you stay up all night doing some homework?”

“No, it wasn’t a homework.”

“Then… Perhaps something happened with your neighbor’s mother?”

“…”

“Oh, seems I hit the mark.”

Satoya’s childish face distorted and a mischievous smile appeared.

“You’re so simple, Takumi. It’s definitely impossible for you to have an affair.”

“Shut up…”

While we threw insults at each other, we went out of the room and headed to the cafeteria.

The university’s cafeteria was packed during lunch time.

We bought the coupons for the food we wanted and waited in line. I ordered curry and Satoya a donburi. After we got our food and found free seats, we could finally start eating. (TLN: Donburi is a Japanese “rice bowl dish” consisting of fish, meat, vegetables or other ingredients simmered together and served over rice.)

“Huh…?” No way… You confessed? For real?” His eyes opened up in surprised after he heard my story.

I had already told him I was in love with Ayako-san, my neighbor’s mother, for the last 10 years.

Last time we had a drink together, I accidentally let that out.

“Heh. Heeeh… Uwaa, what do I do? This is so fun.”

“This isn’t a game… This is something serious for me.”

“I know. I’m sorry, it’s just that I couldn’t help but be excited. My best friend has finally given his first step forward towards his 10 year old love.”

Satoya couldn’t hide his excitement. Damn it… He spoke as if it were someone else’s problem.

Haah.

Somehow… I still couldn’t believe it.

It felt surreal to think that I ended up confessing. Just remembering it makes me want to die from embarrassment.

‘I don’t regret anything!’…Would be nice if I could just say that, but to be honest, I actually regret it. A. Whole. Lot. I’ve been agonizing over it ever since I went to bed last night. I wanted to go back in time so much.

Yesterday, I crossed a line I could never return from.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Satoya asked in admiration, looking far away.

“What? You didn’t believe me?”

“Well, it’s not like I doubted you… But I just couldn’t fully believe it. I mean, you have a one-sided love for 10 years for the mother of your childhood friend that lives next door and is also 10 years older than you.”

“…”

That’s… Well, I guess it’s true.

It’s definitely weird to fall in love with your childhood friend’s mother.

I myself understand that much.

But, even despite that… I kept loving Ayako-san for the last 10 years.

I never stopped wanting to go out with her.

“How did you fall in love again? Was it when you were 10 years old, you took a bath together and you saw Ayako-san naked?”

“I-It wasn’t like that. Don’t make it seem like I’m some kind of pervert.”

“But you two took a bath together, didn’t you?”

“…”

In fact, that did happen.

We entered together and I did see her naked.

But at that time, I was 10, so she lowered her guard and didn’t try to hide anything… Thanks to that, I saw everything I shouldn’t have.

“You saw her naked 10 years ago, you couldn’t forget about that, and even since then you’ve loved her… You’re a complete pervert, Takumi, and also a stalker~.”

“Shut up… And our bath together wasn’t the reason.”

Well… I can’t deny that after we took a bath together, I started to see her as a woman.

But that wasn’t the only reason.

It wasn’t her body.

These feelings I’ve kept hidden during these last 10 years can’t be expressed with just a few words.

“Well, in a certain way, it’s incredible. During the last 10 years, you haven’t had feelings for any girl, except for just that one. The line that separates perversion and pure love can be surprisingly thin, as thin as a single sheet of paper.” Said Satoya, with a tone that sounded as if he had just realized something. “I can understand that the beautiful, young mother of your childhood friend can seem attractive. Honestly, even I have been attracted to the mothers of other people for some reason. Even though I can’t see my mother as anything other than an old lady… But I guess that despite all of that, it’s nothing more than a weird childhood fantasy. Normally, you wake up from your fantasy pretty much immediately.”

“…”

“But you’ve held onto that fantasy your entire life, until your 20s. After so much time, I’m sure that your fantasy became true.”

Speaking in a way that made it difficult to know if he was impressed or just teasing, Satoya stretched his hand toward my head.

“In any case, I’m happy that you’ve been able to convey your feeling to her. Good job confessing. Well done. Let me praise you a bit.”

“Shut up… and please stop that.”

I took off his hand that was patting my head.

“But, well, somehow it sucks that you ended up confessing to her while drunk.”

“Ugh… I-I guess I did…”

That’s what I regretted the most.

I managed to confess, but under those circumstances.

“…A-Ayako-san is also at fault here. She gave me some romantic guidance speech thingy and then told me ‘If you have a girl you like, you have to tell her your feelings’ …And so I decided to do so immediately.”

“Well, she most likely didn’t imagine that the one you were in love with was her. Must have been a real shocker.”

“I guess so…”

Thinking about her behavior from last night and this morning, it was clear that Ayako-san was still shaken from what had transpired.

For better or worse, she had no idea that I was in love with her.

“Somehow… I feel guilty now. Due to my confession, I’ve troubled her a lot.”

“That’s what confessing means,” said Satoya, as if he was some sort of wise man. “Getting the courage and confessing your feelings… People treat that as a brave action, but in reality, you’re throwing a bomb to your relationship for your own selfish reasons. I hope everything turns alright, if not, it will just become a big problem. Not just for the person who confessed, but for the other party as well. They will stress and suffer because they don’t want to hurt the other party.”

His heartless words cast me down heavily.

But Satoya was right.

I dropped a huge bomb. A mortal weapon, decorated with beautiful words in the form of a confession, that can destroy people’s relationships…

Our relationship will never be the same as before…

Even if she were to reject me and say ‘Let’s just return to how things were’ and smile at me like she always does… She will never see me again as just her daughter’s childhood friend.

I’ve destroyed the relationship we’ve had for the last 10 years due to my own selfish desires…

“Your future depends on Ayako-san’s answer.”

“You’re right…”

I still haven’t received an answer.

Or rather, it would be more accurate to say I was afraid of hearing it and delayed it. Yesterday and this morning, I escaped without hearing an answer. I calmly told her she didn’t have to answer me right now, but that wasn’t it, I was just afraid of hearing her answer.

But I can’t run away forever.

I sighed deeply.

A sudden confession due to drinking… I’d be lying If I said I didn’t regret it, but to a certain extent, I was ready for it.

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

I was almost at my limit actually.

I couldn’t keep living with this one-sided love… and with her not even look at me as a man.

It was so hollow, frustrating, and regrettable that the woman I loved didn’t even treat me as a man, but rather, as a kid…

♥

I couldn’t concentrate at all on my work and chores that day.

I tried focusing on other things to take it out of my mind, but it never left. Every time I remembered Takkun’s confession, my mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anything.

How many years had it been since a man confessed to me?

When I was a student, I was confessed to several times… No.

I don’t think I’ve ever been confessed to seriously during my lifetime.

Due to the fact that Takkun had conveyed his feelings so seriously… My head was completely lost and overwhelmed.

“Mom, I’m home. What’s for dinner— What the hell is this?!”

Miu, who had come back before I realized it, was surprised after seeing the mess in the living room. Half folded clothes, vacuum cleaner in the floor and my laptop next to a bunch of papers. Everything was a mess.

The room was a complete disaster.

Same as my heart right now…

“What the hell happened mom? What happened here?”

“Ah… Welcome back, Miu. Oh, this is bad… Is it this late already?”

I forced myself to get up from the sofa after a long time. I looked at the clock and it was already past 5. I intended to take a small break, but it seems like I was lost in my thoughts all alone for the last 3 hours.

“I’m sorry, I’ll clean this up in a second. And, uhm… Can we eat order take out today? I haven’t made anything for dinner.”

“That’s fine, but… Is everything alright, mom? Are you feeling sick? You’ve been acting weird since this morning.”

“I-I’m fine… I’m completely fine…” I answered and started to pick up the half-folded clothes.

“…Did something happen with Taku-nii?” Miu asked, suspecting something. I got startled and dropped all the clothes in my hands.

“Wha…? W-W-Why do you ask…?”

“You both have been acting strange since this morning… Did something happen after I went to sleep last night?”

“N-N-N-Nothing! Nothing at all! Hahaha, you say such weird things… Hahahaha!” I desperately tried to escape from her and went to grab a drink from the fridge.

I was so nervous and shaky that my throat had dried up a lot.

“Don’t tell me…” said Miu.

With a very calm, but shocked voice, she said:

“Did Taku-nii confess to you?”

“—?! Ouch!”

Startled, I crashed.

I was so flustered that I forgot to stop, and my head crashed against the fridge.

It was a very loud ‘bam’ sound.

“…! O-Ouch…!”

“So it was that.” Miu sighed while I was crouching and rubbing my forehead.

“Y-Y-Y-Y-You’re wrong! I didn’t get flustered because of that—”

“I see, I see. So he finally confessed to you.”

“—I hit my head to try a health tip… Eh?”

“Damn, he really took his time.”

“W-Wait a minute, Miu… “W-Wait just a minute. Uhm, eh? Listen…”

My head was a complete mess.

Wait a minute, why was Miu so nonchalant about it? Her reaction was completely different from mine. Why aren’t you surprised? Takkun confessed to me! He said he loved me!

This is a very serious issue, you know?!

Could it be that…

“…You already knew?”

“Yup, I knew… You’re talking about the fact that Taku-nii is in love with you, right?”

“Y-Yes…”

E-Embarrassed!

I’m so embarrassed after hearing it again!

It’s even more embarrassing to hear it from my own daughter!

“I knew, or rather, I had noticed already. Taku-nii is really simple. Well, you’re quite dense, so you likely didn’t notice, or rather, misunderstood. You probably thought he was in love with me.”

“…!”

“Seriously… You’re too dense, or blind I should say.”

“B-But…” Under my daughter’s stare, I tried to make excuses “How was I supposed to know that? There’s a 10 year difference between the two of us. From Takkun’s point of view, I’m just an old woman… Just the old woman who lives next door…”

Saying it myself was painful…

But it was true.

From a young man’s point of view, I was undoubtably a middle-age woman. When I was 20, I thought that being 30 basically meant you were an old lady.

Because of that… I never imagined such a thing.

That a boy 10 years younger would fall in love with me.

“Well, from my point of view, you’re an old lady, but for Taku-nii that’s not the case.” Miu’s words of encouragement didn’t exactly make me feel better. “As long as there’s love, age doesn’t matter, right?”

“That’s…”

It was the exact same thing I told Takkun yesterday.

It’s as if the words I said in that moment came back to stab me.

“I was convinced that Takkun was in love with you.”

“I told you a lot of times, that was just your misunderstanding.”

“But he comes to pick you up every day…”

“Because he wants to see your face.”

“And he was helping you study so diligently…”

“Because you asked him to.”

“…When I was in bed with a heavy cold, he was the one who took care of me all the time so you wouldn’t have to worry…”

“That too, no matter how you look at it, was for your sake.”

“…”

After pointing all of that so nonchalantly, I couldn’t say anything back.

Eh? Wait a minute.

Then… Everything I thought he had done because he loved Miu… was actually because he loved me?

“…Because he is in love with me, he comes to pick you up every morning, helped you study and took care of me when I was sick… Eh? Takkun loves me that much?!”

“Yes, a whole lot.”

“Eh… Uhm… Ah… Uwaaaa…”

Crouching, I was left speechless. My face was incredibly hot. Why? I don’t get it at all. Why is a twenty year old boy so in love with an old lady like me?

“So, what are you gonna do?” asked Miu, while I was dying from shame.

“…What should I do…?”

“Are you going to go out with Taku-nii or not?”

“E-Even if you ask me…”

“Let me tell you something, you don’t have to worry about me” said Miu carefreely sitting down on a chair “I’m already 15 years old and I have no plans to interfere with my mother’s personal life. Rather… I want to support you.”

“S-Support me…?”

“Yes. I’d be happy if you married Taku-nii.”

“M-Marry…?! W-What are you saying?!”

My head could only think of his confession and couldn’t go beyond that point.

Marriage.

Takkun and I getting married… Ah, no, no, stop thinking that!

“I really like Taku-nii.”

Even though I was panicking, Miu kept saying surprising things with a happy tone.

“As a man, he isn’t my type, but as a person, I like and respect him a lot. And if it’s him, I think I can actually call him ‘dad.’ Would be great to have such a young dad.”

“S-Stop that already… Miu, stop making fun of adults.”

“I’m not making fun of you.” Lowering her gaze slightly, she sighed.

The frivolous atmosphere we had before disappeared, and the tone of her voice became more serious.

“Me too… I also feel guilty. You’ve sacrificed your 20s for a ‘stranger’ like me.”

I stopped breathing.

I felt a pain in my chest.

“It’s my fault that a woman as beautiful as you isn’t dating anyone, isn’t it? You’ve sacrificed your life for me—”

“—Miu, what are you saying?!” I said strongly. I had to.

I had to dismiss what she just said.

“I’ve never considered you a ‘stranger.’ Besides… I don’t think I’ve sacrificed my life for you. Rather… it’s the complete opposite. You’ve given me so much…” There was some anxiety in my voice.

Slowly, my eyes started to get wet and tears were gathering.

“Hey, Miu… Do you remember? The day you called me mama for the first time…? Yeah, that was after I picked you up—”

“—Ah, it’s okay, you don’t have to bring that up. Forget it.” Miu shook her hand, irritated.

Her face was very cold, almost as if it were the complete opposite of mine which was full of emotions.

“I don’t need to hear some sort of corny story.”

“What?!”

What did she mean by ‘some sort of corny story’?!

I was about to tell an amazing heart wrenching story! These precious memories were supposed to provoke a storm of emotions and we’d end up with a passionate mom-daughter hug!

“Mom, you’re always talking about it and you start to cry when you drink. I’m tired of hearing it.”

“Ugh…”

“Well, to be fair, maybe my choice of words wasn’t the best. You didn’t sacrifice yourself for me. But you were considerate with me, and so, you tried not to delve into things like love, didn’t you?”

“W-Well…”

Well.

I guess that’s half true.

I’m not exactly a proactive person that would go out of their way to find love or propose to a man, so I don’t know if I would have found a good man if Miu had not been here… But it’s likely that her presence put some brakes on me, who didn’t know anything about love.

“Mom, I really think of you as my real mother.” Said Miu.

It was a very simple, yet moving statement, and it conveyed her feelings to me.

“And you think of me as your real daughter, Right?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Then you understand what I’m trying to say, don’t you? The same way you want me to be happy, I also want you to be happy.”

“…”

I couldn’t say anything back.

How do I say it…? I felt as if I had lost this argument.

Her words had left me speechless.

“Y-You’ve really grown a lot, Miu…” I said, giving up.

My fifteen year old daughter had become a thoughtful woman. I had mixed feelings as a mother. On one part, I was happy about her growing up, but on the other, sad because of it at the same time.

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