Volume 4 Chapter 4

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♥

Early morning, the day after the Obon holidays.

“…Fwaaaah…”

I had a hard time waking up.

I didn’t sleep enough.

Last night I returned from my parents’ house and went to bed before 12… but I was so nervous about today that I couldn’t sleep.

Today, I will reply to Takkun’s confession.

I’ll explain the kiss, why I shunned him, and I’ll also reveal my true feelings…

And then… we’ll start dating.

Probably.

…E-Everything is going to be okay, right?

This time, we’re going to start dating for real, right?

Takkun won’t say something like ‘Actually, let me think about it for a bit,’ right?

He didn’t start thinking something like ‘Despite being an adult woman, she’s so troublesome,’ right?

Though, to be honest, I can’t blame him if he started to think that.

I’ve done more than enough to justify him doing so.

Haah… I wonder if everything is really going to be okay…

“…E-Everything will be fine! Definitely!” I convinced myself desperately.

Yes, yes, I’m sure everything will be fine.

Or rather… it’s too late for me to back down now, I have to keep moving forward.

“All right.”

After encouraging myself, I went out of my room and started my morning activities.

The clock marked 8 in the morning.

Miu was still sleeping, so breakfast can wait.

In the meantime, I’ll use that time to do the other chores.

And I will meet up with Takkun at… Actually, it hasn’t been decided when.

I said today, but I didn’t exactly say at what time. I’ll get in contact with him later to set up the time and place.

I have no idea what will happen and that makes me nervous… but I’m sure that everything will be all right!

I even wrote a letter just in case!

I wrote a letter during my free time while I was at my parents’ house.

My feelings for him are written rather poetically, using my editorial skills and cleverness to the fullest. If I start getting nervous and I can’t say anything, I just need to read this letter.

…It can be very embarrassing for a woman over 30 to prepare a handwritten love letter… but it can’t be helped!

Because this love letter is my lifesaving angel!

An insurance in case an accident happens!

In the worst case… If a huge catastrophe were to happen and I go out running because I got too nervous, as long as I give him the letter, he’ll know how I feel…!

“I’ll start with… laundry.”

It was an urgent situation, but that didn’t mean I could avoid house chores.

That’s what being a single mother means.

The first half of the day I had to take care of house chores.

And laundry was the first one.

I have to wash the clothes we used during the trip.

I went to the dressing room and saw a huge pile of clothes that I had taken out from our baggage yesterday. I separated the whites to wash later and dumped the rest onto the washing machine.

“…Ah, right. I should wash this too.”

I took off the sleeping bra that was under my pajama. During summer, I sweat even when I sleep, so I have to wash the bras I use when I sleep regularly.

I put the underwear in a special mesh laundry basket and turned the washing machine on.

“Now, let’s clean the house… Oh no!”

Half asleep, I was about to hop onto the next chore when I noticed something important.

“Today is burnable trash day!”

I had completely forgotten!

The collection day is right after Obon!

This is bad… I definitely have to take it out today. The trash I forgot to take out before Obon is still in the deposit outside…!

Uwaa, this is terrible!

The trash truck will pass by any second now!

I quickly changed from my pajamas and went out running in a hurry out the door. I grabbed the trash bag from the deposit and ran frenetically to the trash container.

Luckily, I managed to throw the trash in time.

Immediately after throwing it, the trash truck passed by.

“Haah… Thank goodness,” I sighed in relief and went back to the house.

That was close, I barely made it.

I’m happy to not have met the trash collectors.

Because right now, I…

“…”

I took a look at my chest.

There… my chest was swinging with every step that I have with a boing.

It was swinging a lot stronger than usual.

As if it had been freed from heavy armor… as if I didn’t have a bra on.

“…”

That was the case.

I went to take out the trash without a bra… After taking off my sleeping bra, I panicked, changed clothes and went out running forgetting to put on another bra.

I realized this halfway through, but there was no time to return… so I went out like this.

Uwaa, I feel like I just did something incredibly inappropriate.

Taking out the trash without a bra… What kind of indecent woman am I?

Besides, at this moment, I was only wearing a thin white blouse. And due to the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra, if they stared for a bit, they could see everything.

Ah, shit, I have to return home quickly.

If someone sees me like this, I won’t be able to walk on the neighborhood anymore…

“Ayako-san…”

“~~~~?!”

Suddenly.

I met up with Takkun by chance again in front of my house.

Because we’re neighbors.

Because he lives next door.

I had unconsciously forgotten that. I had made up my mind to contact him later and try to meet up during the afternoon, but that didn’t guarantee that we’d meet up before that.

Takkun was wearing a shirt on his top and shorts and leggings on his bottom. He was wearing fluorescent running style sport shoes.

He used to swim during middle and high school and was now in a sports club, so he sometimes goes out to run. He didn’t seem to be sweating, so I supposed he was just about to go out.

“G-Good morning. It’s been a while,” Takkun greeted me with an awkward smile on his face.

There were more than enough reasons to feel awkward, and I’m sure that he had many things in his head, but tried to behave as he normally did for my sake.

However, I…

“~~~~~~”

Without saying anything, I quickly turned around.

And hid my breasts with both hands.

“Uh…”

“I-I’m sorry, Takkun… R-Right now isn’t a good time…!” I shouted almost crying and hurriedly ran away.

Ah, geez, why…?!

Why am I so unlucky?!

I ran away from Takkun once again.

I repeated the same thing I did before Obon.

That’s not how it should be!

I made up my mind, I wouldn’t run away anymore. During Obon, I had resolved myself to do that. I threw away my mentally weak self who would run away the moment she met up with him.

But.

But even then… I wasn’t mentally prepared to meet up without a bra!

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t… If we talk face to face, he’ll definitely notice.

And if he does, he’ll be disappointed in me. Thinking something like ‘Oh… she’s the kind of woman that takes out the trash without a bra…’!”

That’s why… I had no choice but to run.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Takkun, I’m so sorry…!

I’m not shunning you!

I’m not running away!

This is a strategic retreat to protect my honor as a woman!

What I need to tell you… I’ll do so later, after preparing my mind, and a bra!

“…Haah, haah.”

I ran to my front door and stopped to catch my breath.

I felt tormented by an intense feeling of guilt, but I had to put on a bra as soon as possible, so I reached out to grab the doorknob, and it that moment…

Hug.

I was hugged from behind.

It was so sudden that my heart skipped a beat.

“I’m not letting you run away, Ayako-san.”

“T-Takkun…”

I heard a familiar voice in my ear.

It wasn’t until a bit after that I finally understood the situation.

Takkun chased after me and hugged me from behind.

A hug from behind.

The fantasy that I once lived in a dream which revealed I was born in the Showa era.

That fantasy had now become true.

“…I’m at my limit. I can’t take it any longer,” Near my ear, I heard a voice shaking with impatience and nervousness.

And despite that… sounded incredibly passionate.

It was a voice full of desire, that sounded like it couldn’t be held back any longer.

“…Do you have any idea how miserable I was? You suddenly kissed me and then left me hanging by myself… I thought that I would hear the answer today… but you tried to escape again.”

“N-No…”

Today it’s different!

This isn’t the same kind of escape from before Obon!

I had made up my mind to talk with Takkun appropriately!

But… Right now, I’m not wearing a bra!

I never made up my mind to speak with him without a bra!

I wanted to explain all of that to him, but there was no way I could do that… Instead, he interrupted me and hugged me even more tightly.

“I can’t take it anymore…!” He said.

With a voice that sounded like he had reached the limits of his self-control.

“I really love you, Ayako-san.”

I thought I was going to melt.

Romantic words from the man I love were whispered to me so close to my ear that I could hear his breathing. They were stronger than any poison and sweeter than honey and clouded my heart and head.

“I love you… I really love you, Ayako-san.”

He repeated his romantic words, as if a dam had just broken inside him.

The feelings he had retained for a long time flowed out.

“I’ve loved you for 10 years. Ever since I was 10 years old, I’ve been looking and thinking about you all the time.”

I remembered the last 10 years, the days which I didn’t even think of him as a man.

“Ever since I confessed in May, these feelings haven’t changed at all… No, that’s wrong. I love you a lot more now than when I confessed,” the passionate words didn’t stop. “After I confessed… you were worried and bewildered, and even though you’re an adult, you got as nervous as a teenage girl… and that made you look really cute and charming. I saw so many new faces that I didn’t know and fell in love even more.”

I remembered the days since he confessed his love until today and started to think of him as a man.

“I really love you a so much that… I can’t take it anymore. I won’t hand you over to anyone else. I want to be with you forever.”

Those were blunt words.

Sincere and straightforward.

His hug became even tighter.

“Ayako-san… Why did you kiss me the other day?”

“…U-Uhm…”

Due to my indecisiveness to speak, Takkun kept talking with a voice that sounded as if it could break at any moment.

“After the kiss… I’ve been thinking about it all the time. Why did you do that? I thought about all kinds of things, fantasizing this and that.”

“…”

“But in the end, I only managed to reach an answer. Maybe it’s just my wish, maybe it’s just my vanity… but I couldn’t help but think that,” his voice shook, as if he was about to cry.

But not from pain.

Rather… from hope.

“Ayako-san… The Ayako-san I know would have never kissed a man she doesn’t love.”

“…”

“That’s why, with that in mind…” said Takkun.

With a voice that sounded as if it was about to break, he asked in a shout:

“You also love me, don’t you?”

An indescribable emotion overflowed from my chest and extended throughout my entire body.

It was as if I had been hit by a violent lightning bolt, but at the same time, my entire body felt ecstasy from a soft and sweet feeling.

My entire body heated up and my uncontrollable feelings overflowed.

“…Yes,” I nodded strongly.

Confirming all of his words.

“I love you… I love you a lot, Takkun.”

I… I said it.

I finally said it.

I finally managed to express what my heart had decided.

Maybe I could finally give a little back to him, who has loved me so much to the point of making me feel a little guilty.

“I fell in love with you, Takkun… When… I don’t know… I don’t know, but I love you… I love you a lot now.”

My uncontrollable feelings raged like a storm, but my words got stuck in my throat and I couldn’t speak well.

Even then, my feelings kept flowing out with broken words.

“After you confessed, the only thing I could think about was you… Every day, my head was full of you, Takkun. After all, you… you’ve always been doing cool things, so you started to occupy more and more space in my head…”

I wasn’t sure myself about what I was saying.

I simply let myself get carried away by my instincts and feelings.

“After the trip, I talked with Miu about some things… and I finally understood my own feelings. I love you, Takkun. Not as a neighbor, or brother or son… but as a man.”

I didn’t take out the letter I wrote.

And I didn’t even remember what I had written there.

The only thing that came out of my mouth were simple, straightforward, words. They weren’t poetic, or clever and they lacked any sort of editorial skill.

“And when I realized that… I think I’ve loved you for a long time. All of these 10 years I’ve spent with you… have been hopelessly dear and precious to me…! I don’t know if it was love at first sight or fate that brought us together… but it makes me really happy that it was…!” I said.

I softly put my hands over his, while he was hugging me.

“I love you… I love you a lot, Takkun.”

“Ayako-san…!”

The strength on his arms got even stronger.

A passionate and gentle hug surrounded me. There was a part of me that wanted to stay in his arms forever, but slowly, I put his arms away.

I turned around and finally looked straight at him.

When I turned around to look at Takkun, he seemed to be half crying. There were tears in the corners of his eyes and had an emotional expression on his face that didn’t have a shred of dignity or composure.

But I probably looked worse.

My eyes were full of tears.

Not because I was sad, but because I was overjoyed and couldn’t stop crying.

“Takkun…” I said, looking at him in the eyes. “I love you too. So… if you don’t mind, would you like to go out with me.”

‘But,’ I said.

“Are you really… all right with me?” I had to ask that. “I… am 10 years older than you.”

“…Why are you asking that now?”

“Even if it was just barely… I was born in the Showa era.” TL/N: Reminder, Showa ended on 1989 and this novel takes place in 2019.

“I know.”

“I have a daughter.”

“I also know that. I’ve known since I was 10.”

“I’m not an amazing woman at all… I’m very dense, I have many defects, I don’t know what to do when I have to face hardships and I like to laze around when doing house chores… Besides, I’ve gained some weight lately. Though, I think I’ve been saying that for 10 years…”

“…”

“Even if I’m like this, are you really sure you want to be with me?”

“Yes,” Takkun nodded without hesitating. “I love you just like that.”

‘I always have and always will,’ he said.

And smiled softly.

“…Takkun.”

Moved by the emotions I felt, I hugged him.

Not from behind, but from the front.

“I’m sorry… Sorry for making you wait for so long, Takkun.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

He returned the hug.

Confirming each other’s feelings, we hug each other tightly.

An indescribable happiness surrounded us.

Oh…

I’m so happy.

Everything seems so heartwarming and I feel as if I was blessed by the universe.

Is it possible to be this happy?

“I’m very happy… too happy. It’s like a dream. I can’t believe that I’m going to go out with Ayako-san… Huh?”

With a surprised voice, he came back from his dream state to the real world.

Takkun suddenly separated from me.

“Huh? Huh…?”

He looked straight at me with a shocked and confused look.

Specifically, around my chest area.

“A-Ayako-san… Why are you not wearing a b-bra?”

“Uh… ~~~~~?!”

For a moment, I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I quickly understood and immediately covered my chest.

N-No way~~!

I completely forgot!

I let myself get carried away by the mood and had completely forgotten!

I’m not wearing a bra right now!

I wasn’t wearing a bra during the moving confession scene!

“…N-No! This isn’t what it looks like!”

Uwaa… Uwaaaa, this is horrible.

I didn’t want Takkun to notice.

It’s because I hugged him from the front.

Of course he’d notice.

The two of us were wearing thin clothes, but we hugged each other tightly and my breasts were pressed against him.

“Uhm, you see… I was taking out the trash and… I normally don’t go out without a bra! I simply overslept today and was in a hurry, so I completely forgot to wear one…”

“I see… Ah, then… the reason you ran away when you saw me…”

“…Y-Yes! I ran away because I wasn’t wearing a bra! I didn’t want you to notice! And despite that, you… chased after me.”

“I-I’m sorry, I thought you were avoiding me again.”

“Uuh… It’s not like that. I wasn’t going to avoid you today, I was going to reply to your confession… I really planned to do that.”

It’s just that nothing came out as planned.

Why did this have to happen?

I was ready to shed tears from a completely different emotion from before.

“Uuuh… How did this happen? The day I start going out with Takkun, I’m not wearing a bra…! This is something I’ll probably remember for the rest of my live. Every time we celebrate our anniversary, I’ll be tormented by this embarrassing moment when I remember it…!”

“…W-Well, let’s celebrate an anniversary like that together many times from now on.”

“Y-Yes…”

Takkun gave me an awkward smile, but trying to support me, and I nodded.

I, Ayako Katsuragi, am 3X years old.

It’s been 10 years since I started taking care of my sister’s and her husband’s daughter.

And for the first time in my life, I have a boyfriend.

I beat around the bush a lot before we started dating and even the moment we started dating, I said a lot of silly things to the very end.

But somehow, I wanted to think positively that all of these complications of mine made me who I am today.

At night…

“Hahaha. I see. So you finally started to go out.”

When I informed her about our relationship on the phone, Oinomori-san laughed in satisfaction.

“My… it really took a long time. If I, a third party, feel like this, I can’t imagine how much Aterazawa-kun had to bear.”

“About that… No comment.”

“Anyways, I wholeheartedly congratulate you.”

“Thanks. I’m really thankful for all your support, Oinomori-san.”

“I didn’t do anything. I was simply making fun of you,” she said, trying to act humble.

Although… it’s likely that she wasn’t trying to be humble and was actually just making fun of me all this time.

“Katsuragi-kun,” she said, lowering her tone a little. “I’m sure you must be feeling very excited for overcoming all your obstacles and finally starting to date him… but the hard part starts now.”

“…I know,” I nodded seriously.

I know.

The hardest is yet to come.

If this was a fairy tale, when the prince and the princess start to go out, the history probably ends with a happy ending.

And live happily ever after.

But… We’re in the real world.

When you start dating, nothing has ended.

The history keeps going.

Couples and spouses, regardless of age, who promised to love each other forever, don’t always remain happy.

Sometimes they break up.

Sometimes they divorce.

And in our case… we’re a couple with a 10 year age difference.

Thinking everything will be all right and there will be no problems… That’s very unlikely.

“In real life, dating is just the start of a relationship. The problems and accidents that happened before you started going out are nothing compared to the new ones after you do. Although it doesn’t sound so convincing coming from a woman who has been divorced three times.”

“Ahaha…”

It was an unfunny self-mockery, but I had no choice but to give a friendly laugh.

“…But well, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to spoil your mood or put you in a bind. It’s just that… it looks like I’ll be your next obstacle.”

“Huh…?”

The next obstacle?

Oinomori-san?

“Seriously, why did it have to be now… I’m not doing this on purpose, it was simply incredibly bad timing,” she whispered in an apologetic tone, ignoring my confusion.

And then, with a very serious voice, she continued.

“Katsuragi-kun, starting next month… would you like to work in Tokyo?”

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~9.2k words to go.