Volume 5 Chapter 6

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Chapter edited by: Kashima

♠

During high school.

After all the matters related to Arisa Odaki were resolved.

She confessed to me.

“I like you, please go out with me. Be my boyfriend for real,” she said.

I think it was a serious confession.

It was serious, honest, and careful.

It wasn’t the first time that a girl had confessed to me.

After participating in the prefecture’s swimming competition, I received confessions, and letters from younger girls I had never spoken to, but the weight of this confession was different to those.

Judging by her expression and her words I realized that she meant it, so much in fact that it pained me.

But.

No matter how serious and honest her confession was, my answer would be the same.

“…I’m sorry,” I said clearly and determinedly. “Thanks for telling me your feelings. It makes me happy that you feel that way, but… I’m sorry, I can’t be your boyfriend, Arisa.”

“…Ahaha,” Arisa was laughing, as if trying to hide something. “I-I thought so. I was expecting that answer. Sorry for confessing my feelings,” she said with an unnaturally happy voice. She was trying her hardest to sound lively, but there were tears in her eyes. “You were just doing me a favor. The reason you were so kind to me was just because you’re a kind man at heart… Ahaha. My, I guess that I was wrong. I thought I at least had a chance.”

“…”

“Hey, by the way… Can you tell me why not? If there’s something I can do to fix it, I’ll do anything possible…” she said with a face that with a face that was about to cry, and my heart started to hurt, as if someone was squeezing it.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Arisa,” I said clearly.

And I answered her serious confession with some honesty.

“It’s just that there’s someone else I like.”

After 5 pm…

Finishing my first day in the internship, I headed to the station along with Arisa Odaki.

We went to the same station, so it happened naturally.

“Wow, that was surprising. I never thought we’d meet again like this, Takumi-kun. What a small world we live in, don’t you think?” said Arisa happily while she walked next to me.

“Arisa… you go to a university here in Tokyo, right?”

“Yes, I’m living on my own. And you’re going to a local university, right?”

“Yes.”

“And why did you decide on an internship here?”

“It’s a long story, but… well, let’s say that an acquaintance recommended it.”

“Oh, me too. One of my club’s upperclassmen in university got a job in LiliSTART and thanks to that connection, I managed to get an internship here.”

What an amazing coincidence.

Who would have thought that when I decided to leave my hometown for an internship in a Tokyo company, I’d find an acquaintance who had left her hometown to go to a Tokyo university.

Although, well… I’m the weirder one between the two of us, no matter how you look at it.

She used a relatively traditional connection with one of her upperclassmen in university, while I had a more complex connection.

“Hey, what will you wear tomorrow, Takumi-kun?”

“Casual clothes, and try to somehow make it look formal.”

“I’ll also do that. Haah… I was completely off. I thought it was one of those famous casual wear traps. I thought that I’d be safe wearing a suit… I never imagined that they’d laugh so much because of it.”

“Haha, I thought the same.”

“I know right? That’s what people tend to think! Yoshino-san doesn’t get the delicate nature of university students looking for jobs at all.”

We laughed at our mistake.

It was a weird feeling.

I never thought I’d get to speak with Arisa like this again.

Honestly… I thought we’d never get to see each other after graduating from high school.

I never thought about contacting her and I’m sure she was the same.

Because.

The last time we were together was…

“…It’s a little nostalgic,” said Arisa with a sudden dark expression. “Walking like this together reminds me of our high school days. When we walked together to the station on our way home from school.”

“…”

“Sorry about back then. You had to deal with something weird because of me.”

“…It’s fine.”

“Somehow… I thought that we wouldn’t see each other. I didn’t know what face to make if we would, and I thought it would be awkward.”

“But,” Arisa continued.

With the same glamorous smile she used to have.

“I’m happy to have seen you today, Takumi-kun.”

It was a truly radiant smile, as if it came from the bottom of her heart.

“How to say it… It feels like shock therapy. I would have never dared to contact you, but if I suddenly bump into you like this, I’d be far too surprised to feel awkward.”

“…”

“I guess that what they say is true, fear tends to make things seem more insurmountable than what they are. I should be thanking destiny for this encounter. I’m sure that God was worried about us.”

“…Somehow, you seem a lot more lively than before.”

“Huh? Really? Hmm… Well, maybe. I’m having fun at the university and I’m not the same countryside girl you met in Tohoku.” she said in a joking tone, smiling mischievously.

That’s true… it’s different.

Both Arisa and I are different from those days.

Our ages, our universities, our positions, the world we live in.

And also… our relationships.

“Hey, now that we met again after so long, would you like to have a drink somewhere to celebrate our reunion?” Arisa happily invited me while making a gesture of drinking from a glass. “I know lots of cheap and good local places, so I can introduce you.”

“…Think I’ll pass.” I refused while shaking my head.

“Huh? Why? It’s true that tomorrow we’re starting our jobs as interns, but it’s fine as long as we don’t stay up too late, right? Or are you a bad with alcohol?”

“It’s not that.” I said clearly, “I’m dating someone now.”

“…”

Arisa’s eyes widened and she stopped walking for a moment.

I realized that, but kept walking without slowing down.

“That’s why… I don’t want to go out with a girl alone.”

“…Oh, so that’s what it was.” Arisa continued after a brief delay. “How long have you been dating?”

“Recently. Very recently.”

“A girl from university?”

“No… But well, she’s from the area I live in.”

“Hmm, I see. These things happen, right?” Still looking somewhat surprised, Arisa continued, “But… isn’t it fine to go out and have a drink with a friend that you haven’t seen in such a long time? Or perhaps are you dating a strict woman? A controlling woman?”

“It’s not about what she wants, it’s about what I want for my relationship.”

“Wow, that sounded so cool.”

After teasing me, Arisa solemnly smiled.

She had a more mature aura than when she was in high school.

“Still the same as ever, Takumi-kun. I’ve been thinking this since high school, but whoever becomes your girlfriend will be very lucky.”

“…”

“Yes, I see now. In that case, it’s better to not go out for drinks. Let’s go drinking some other time when we’re not alone.”

While we were having that conversation, we arrived at the station.

“Well then, I’ll be taking this line.”

“Alright.”

“See you tomorrow.”

While she was waving at me, Arisa disappeared among the crowd.

After telling her goodbye, I headed to the platform corresponding to my line.

My head was full of an indescribable feeling of anguish.

Now.

I wonder what I should do about this situation.

Even after arriving at the apartment, I kept thinking about Arisa Odaki.

Should I tell Ayako-san about her or not?

I don’t think there’s a need to tell her…

The current relationship between Arisa and I is one of ‘former classmates’ that met by chance, no more, no less.

I think it would be weird to tell her. It feels unnatural to make a big deal out of this, almost as if I was a man having an affair and then informing her woman about what he did that particular day.

It’s more suspicious to inform her about every detail.

However.

I think it would be dishonest on my part to not tell her.

If there’s nothing to feel guilty about, it would be better to tell her, but then there’s the problem of how much I should tell her.

About the high school days?

Should I tell her about what happened between Arisa and I?

Honestly… I don’t want to tell her.

It’s not pleasant to talk about it, and I don’t think it would be pleasant to hear for Ayako-san either.

What happened between Arisa and I in high school…

“…kun, Takkun.”

“Ah, y-yes.”

During dinner…

When I looked up after hearing my name, Ayako-san, who was sitting at the other side of the table, looked at me worriedly.

“Uhm… Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I asked if you wanted me to pour you another glass…”

“Oh, yes, please.”

I hastily handed her my glass.

Oh, this is so pathetic.

I can’t believe I ended up ignoring Ayako-san.

And that I’m thinking about other things while eating her homemade food!

“Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

While I was beating myself up in my mind, Ayako-san returned from the kitchen and offered me a glass of barley tea.

“…Sorry, I was just thinking about a few things.”

“Was the internship difficult?”

“No, it was the opposite… Today was mostly taken up by an information session and greetings.”

“Really? It’s just that you seemed a little worried.”

“I’m not worried about that…”

“If something is troubling you, don’t hesitate to speak with me,” said Ayako-san with a soft smile.

It was a beautiful and warm smile, similar to a goddess.

“When it comes to work, I’m a little more experienced than you. So if you have a problem, I think I can help you.”

“Ayako-san…”

“…Well, even though I said I have a little more, I’m pretty experienced. I started working over ten years ago after all… I’m already a veteran, a grandma…”

“Ah, d-don’t be sad, please.”

After trying to cheer her up…

“…Thanks.” I continued, “If I have some problem with my internship, I’ll talk to you about it, Ayako-san.”

The moment I answered that, I felt pain in my chest.

To hide my thoughts, I devoured the rest of the dinner.

I got up from the chair with an empty plate.

“Seconds please.”

“Are you sure? I served you a lot of food.”

“Your food is so delicious that I can’t help but want more.”

“Geez, you won’t get anything from praising me, you know?”

We both laughed. A small shadow was born within my heart.

After all, I didn’t tell her about Arisa Odaki that day.

It wasn’t a rational decision after thinking about it a lot.

I didn’t really want to cause any unnecessary concern to Ayako-san, but in the end, I think I was just fearful.

I was scared.

Yes, scared.

I was so happy in this moment, that I was afraid to lose it all.

Now that I’m living the dream I’ve been yearning for over the last ten years.

Somewhere in my heart, I was thinking that I didn’t want to add any unnecessary noise, no matter how small, to this excessively happy world the two of us were living in.

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