Volume 5 Chapter 7

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Chapter edited by: Kashima

♥

“…Is something wrong with Aterazawa-kun?” Oinomori-san asked

“…Yes,” I nodded and sipped some of the lemon sour cocktail.

It’s been a few days since we started living together, and the first Friday has come.

I found myself in a private cubicle of an izakaya*. TL/N: Japanese bar that also serves dishes and snacks.

It was somewhat expensive, but Oinomori-san brought me here.

This was supposed to be a small meetup to celebrate my new position in Tokyo.

At first, she was planning to invite several colleagues and throw a big party, but I strongly opposed that. Because… it was embarrassing. I was just here to work in Tokyo for 3 months, so it was embarrassing to gather that many people and throw a drinking party to celebrate that.

That’s why this welcome party was just Oinomori-san and me.

It’s been 30 minutes since we started drinking.

At first, we were talking about work, but after ordering our second glass, the conversation gradually turned to my cohabitation status.

“So, what happened exactly?”

“Well… it’s not like something drastic happened to him,” I said, remembering his attitude the last few days. “When I talk to him, he behaves normally, but sometimes he looks really strange and worried. It started the day he began his internship…”

“Hm…” Oinomori-san drank her whisky on the rocks while nodding. “The day before yesterday, I had the opportunity to speak with someone from LiliSTART, so I asked him about Aterazawa-kun, but from what I heard, there doesn’t seem to be any problems. He quickly learned his work, is polite and they have a good opinion of him for being so young and attentive, which is rare nowadays.”

Looks like his worries are not work related.

So, what is worrying Takkun?

Or is everything just in my head?

It would be nice if that was the case.

“If it’s not his job… is it related to his new life with you?”

“So it’s that after all.”

A new environment, a new life.

It’s also his first time living in Tokyo.

This must be a lot harder on him than it is for me, who has come several times for work. His stress may have accumulated without my knowledge…

“Maybe he’s worried about his sex life with you.”

“…You could have skipped that word.”

The meaning was considerably different with just one extra word.

When Oinomori-san looked at me, the only thing she did was chuckle.

“No, I mean it. Sexual worries are not limited to teenagers, it’s also normal for adults to worry about it.”

“…”

“Be honest, how has it been? You’ve been living almost an entire week together, so how are things at night? You’re both inexperienced, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some issues or inconveniences…”

“W-What are you talking about?! Geez! We don’t have those kinds of issues or inconveniences… In the first place, we still haven’t…”

“…Huh?” Oinomori-san’s expression looked very shocked.

Her mouth was open, with an expression that seemed to go beyond the point of just astonishment.

“You still haven’t done it?”

“…”

“Not even once…?”

“…”

“Not even forepl—?”

“No! We still haven’t done that!” I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t help screaming. “What’s wrong with it?! We’re going at our own pace!”

“…No, I’m not criticizing you or anything, I was just shocked. It’s hard to believe that a couple that just started to live together can live under the same roof for a week and still not do anything. If you were high schoolers, that would be something, but you two are adults.” With a wry smile, Oinomori-san continued, “Did the right mood never show up?”

“…W-We had a somewhat good mood the first night… but…”

“But?”

“Takkun said that he wanted something mutual, because the cohabitation wasn’t something we decided on our own.”

“…Pfft… Ahahahaha. He’s an amazingly kind-hearted and honest man, isn’t he?” Oinomori-san laughed. “Well, maybe there’s a part of him that feels guilty for lying to you… but even then, I think this is too much.”

“…I wish you’d feel as guilty as him, though.”

“But, I get it, Katsuragi-kun. You’re frustrated because your dear boyfriend hasn’t put his hands on you.”

“W-What are you saying now?! I’m not frustrated… or anything like that. I’m very happy that Takkun is a gentleman.”

“Really?” She asked, making fun of me who was slightly blushing.

I’m not sure if it was because of the alcohol, but she was acting 30% more insistent on this than usual.

“It’s our special drinking night. Let’s leave aside the embarrassment and weird pretenses, and speak from our crotch.”

“It’s speaking from the gut*, the gut! Don’t say crotch, please.” TL/N: Phrase that means having a heart-to-heart talk.

Ah, geez, her lewd jokes are terrible!

Alcohol is scary!

“Geez… that’s enough jokes, please. I hate this kind of mood… You know, it’s like we’re letting ourselves go because of the drink and letting our tongues loose.” I said with firmness and clarity. “I’m not letting my tongue loose just because of some drinks.”

An hour later, after that declaration… or rather, that pretentious statement.

After drinking about 4 glasses of lemon sour.

“…Yes, you’re right, I’m frustrated, what’s wrong with that?! I’m always worried because I don’t know what to do! Uuh… Hiiiin.”

I was so drunk I had loosened my tongue.

I openly talked about a lot of things.

I laid out my emotions on the table. Ah, I can’t bear it anymore. My head is dull. I feel like the part of my brain that has control over reason and judgment is completely paralyzed.

“There, there, good girl.”

“Uuh… Oinomori-san…”

I wasn’t sure if this mood was due to the alcohol or because I was too sensitive.

There still was some clarity in my mind, but… Well, it’s fine.

Let’s have the alcohol do everything for me.

As for Oinomori-san, she wasn’t too different from before. Unlike me, who had only been drinking lemon sour, she was drinking a variety of drinks and was now enjoying sake from a sake cup.

“For starters… he’s so unfair. ‘I want this to be a good memory’ or ‘I’ll wait until your heart is ready’… If you say cool things like that, I won’t be able to say anything back!”

“Hm, hm.”

“And in fact… what’s that about my heart not being ready?! Huh?! When I’m ready, do I need to say that I’m ready?! Isn’t that pretty hard?!”

“Hm, hm.”

“B-but, obviously, I don’t mean to say that Takkun is wrong. I’m happy that he’s worried about me… but, well… Takkun is so kind and perfect… That I get depressed on my own thinking that I’m starting to seem like a lewd woman…”

“I see, I see.”

I couldn’t help but complain when I started talking. Oinomori-san listened in silence, and when I took a breather, she summarized:

“So basically, you want to sleep with him.”

“That’s not a good way to summarize it!”

“Am I wrong though?”

“T-That’s… W-Well, that may be true, but I’d like you to… take a little more care in how you express yourself…”

I have my own circumstances and problems here, so please don’t summarize it so easily… But I guess that, in a way, she’s right.

Uwaa… This is so embarrassing.

In the end, aren’t I simply complaining that my boyfriend hasn’t put his hands on me…?!

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Women have sexual desires too. If you live with your dear boyfriend, it’s normal to get worried.”

“R-Really?”

“Yes, it’s normal.”

“T-Then, me having dirty dreams for 3 days straight… that’s also normal, right?!”

“…I’m not so sure that’s normal.”

So it isn’t normal!

I feel betrayed! I accidentally confessed to something so embarrassing!

“Well, don’t worry. For starters, you’re not the only one who’s suffering. Aterazawa-kun must be the same or worse than you.”

“Takkun too…?”

“Maybe he’s alone in his apartment rubbing one out.”

“Rubbing one out…?! W-What are you saying?!”

“It’s normal. That’s how men deal with their sexual desires. Rather, Aterazawa-kun has been in love with you for the last 10 years, right? Who knows how many times he’s used you as material.”

U-Use me as material…?!

That means… that Takkun has had fantasies with me… W-Whaaaatt?!

Seriously?! That’s… wait… Huuh?!

“Good grief, inexperienced couples are a handful,” said Oinomori-san with an ironic smile. “There’s also a problem with Aterazawa-kun. He seems to believe that keeping his hands off of you is a form of kindness and honesty.”

“…”

“No, maybe he’s just scared.”

“Scared…?”

“He’s loved you for 10 years, right? To him, Ayako Katsuragi is no longer just a member of the opposite sex… you may be a goddess to him. You’re not just an object of affection, but also adoration and worship.”

“A goddess, you say?”

“My guess is that he doesn’t want to hurt his dear goddess at all.”

“…”

“Of course, your problem is also big.”

“Mine too…?”

“If you complain about him not throwing himself at you, then dress up seductively so he can’t bear it anymore.”

“Wha…?”

“Or you could be the one to throw yourself at him.”

“T-That’s impossible, I can’t do that…”

“Why?”

“Because… It’s embarrassing… Besides, I’m also… scared after all,” I said.

I’m scared. I’m interested and want to do it, but I’m also scared.

I’m afraid of the act itself, but more than that…

“Takkun has praised me so much… and has said he likes everything about me, inside and outside. Of course, that makes me happy… but that’s why I’m afraid of betraying his expectations…”

A goddess is a little exaggerated… But I think that Takkun puts me on a really high pedestal and thinks me better than what I am.

Praising a 30 year old woman over everything she does is more than I deserve.

It makes me happy, and of course it pleases me.

Since he loves me, I want to meet his expectations… but I’m afraid of not being able to. I’m afraid of disappointing him.

“…Most likely, the image that Takkun has of me is not this lewd monster.”

“Lewd monster?”

“I don’t know what I’d do if I were to seduce him… and he’d be disappointed.”

“It’s fine if he’s disappointed,” said Oinomori-san while she tilted her sake cup, seeming unworried. “Getting disappointed means that the illusion is dead. An illusion full of prejudices and assumptions shouldn’t exist. Ayako Katsuragi is neither a goddess nor an illusion, she’s a real person. And of course, so is Takumi Aterazawa.”

“…”

“It’s better for real humans to fully open up to each other.”

Her words resounded strongly in my drunk head.

“Seriously… It’s amazing how you can turn a simple story into something so complicated. I admire you,” said Oinomori-san sarcastically in an impressed tone. And then, as if she had remembered something, she continued. “However… There’s that other thing too. They say that a man’s sexual desire reaches their highest point in their adolescence and women at the start of their thirties… When I think it over, you two fit perfectly.” Her tone was calm. “With all your accumulated desires these years, I’m sure that it will be amazing when you do it.”

“~~~~~!”

Without knowing how to reply, I drank what was left of my lemon sour in a single gulp.

We left the store at around 9:00 pm.

“Are you okay, Katsuragi-kun?”

“I-I’m fine. I’m not drunk…”

I tried to act tough, but to be honest, I was pretty drunk.

It’s not to the point of being unconscious, but… I feel pretty dizzy.

“…It’s been a while since I drank, so I couldn’t control myself.”

“Fufu, that also helped with the conversation’s topic.”

Despite drinking twice as me, Oinomori-san was in perfect shape.

She said that she hadn’t had enough to drink, so she was heading out to drink by herself later.

I don’t know many years it has been since we drank together, but it looks like she’s still a heavy drinker, despite being over 40.

“Well then… thanks for today, Oinomori-san.”

“Hold on, where are you going by yourself?”

I thanked her, nodding lightly, and was about to leave when she stopped me.

“Uh… But you want to keep drinking, right?”

“And because of that you’re going back on your own? All dizzy?”

“I-It’s fine, I can grab a cab.”

“I called someone to come pick you up, so wait a little.”

“…Pick me up?”

It happened almost at the same time I had asked.

“…Ayako-san.”

Takkun came running from the city’s crowd.

“Huh?! Takkun… W-Why are you here?”

“I called him,” said Oinomori-san. “I couldn’t let you hang around the city at night.”

After saying that, she turned towards Takkun, who had come to pick me up.

“Well then, Aterazawa-kun, I’ll leave the rest to you. I’ll go have some more fun in the downtown.”

Leaving behind her cool words, she disappeared among the city’s crowd.

Unlike my hometown, the lights here made it hard to see the stars in the sky…

We walked to the station’s taxi stop.

“Takkun… sorry for making you come here to pick me up.”

“Don’t mind it. Doing this kind of thing is also part of my job as a boyfriend,” said Takkun, somewhat happy. “I couldn’t calm down waiting alone. If you were to walk through Tokyo alone and drunk at night… You’d get hit on every 10 steps.”

“Y-Your prejudice towards Tokyo is amazing…”

As usual, he has me on a pedestal.

He thinks of me as an unrivalled beauty.

“Ayako-san, let me know if you have a hard time walking.”

“I-I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m not that drunk.”

“That’s what most drunk people say.”

“Some people that aren’t drunk also say it,” I said strongly.

Ah, this is so embarrassing.

Takkun said to not worry about it, but even then, I feel a little pathetic. Even though I’m an adult, I got drunk and someone had to come pick me up.

Besides.

Due to the content of what we had talked about earlier… I couldn’t help but be conscious of it.

My body was heating up and my head was spinning.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but I found myself thinking about stranger things than usual.

“We’re almost there, Ayako-san.”

The station was getting nearer with each step.

I kept staring at his back while he walked a little faster and asked him in my mind.

Hey, Takkun.

What face would you make if I were to try and seduce you?

Would you be surprised? Would you be disgusted?

Or would you be happy?

Ah…

Can I blame everything on alcohol right now?

No matter what I do or say, I can always blame the alcohol.

At that time, my imagination went wild.

“Ah, it’s certainly Friday, this is full of people…”

When we got close to the crowded taxi stop, Takkun stopped.

His eyes widened and he stayed frozen in place.

“What’s wrong, Takkun…?”

“…Takumi-kun?”

A woman with a happy voice came to us.

“My, it was you after all, what a coincidence.”

“…Arisa.”

She spoke to Takkun in a friendly way and he replied.

It looks like her name was Arisa.

I felt somewhat weird. I think it was the first time I had heard Takkun call other girls who weren’t Miu or I by their names.

I looked at her again.

She seemed to be the same age as Takkun, about 20 years old. She was wearing an elegant hairstyle with braids on both sides. She was wearing a light white blouse and a skirt with vivid colors. A youthful fashion that only a university student could wear.

Maybe she was returning from a drinking party too, since she was blushing.

“We’ve been meeting each other a lot lately, haven’t we?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Were you also drinking around here, Takumi-kun?”

“No, I simply came to pick someone up…”

Takkun seemed clearly agitated and was shifting his vision back and forth between Arisa-san and me.

“Uhm, Ayako-san… she’s an acquaintance.”

Takkun tried to introduce her to me in a hesitant tone.

“Ahaha, why are you nervous, Takumi-kun?”

But he was interrupted by an Arisa-san who seemed to be bubbly from the alcohol.

“There’s no reason to panic, I’m not your girlfriend anymore.”

“Huh?” I raised my voice.

I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

And then, maybe in response to my voice, she turned to me.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Arisa Odaki.”

After a light bow, she continued with a clumsy voice.

“I’ve known Takkun since high school and if I had to summarize our relationship, it would be… What was it? Well, I guess I’m something of an ex-girlfriend.”

Arisa-san spoke happily, probably because she was drunk.

As for me, my mind was blank.

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