Volume 5 Chapter 8

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Chapter edited by: Kashima

♥

The next day was Saturday, but I had to go to work.

We needed to do some preparations related to the novel’s promotion so it would coincide with the announcement of the anime adaptation. There were many things to do, like a preview with the voice actors and taking measures to also promote the manga.

To be honest… there was a part of me that felt thankful that there was work to do.

As an intern, Takkun was free on Saturday, so he would apparently stay at home all day.

It was a little awkward to see him after what happened yesterday.

I even discreetly left in the morning.

“…Ah… I see. So you met Arisa-san, mom.”

After lunch.

I sat down on a bench in the park near the office and called Miu.

There was something I needed to confirm.

“Yes, that’s right. Arisa-san is the older sister of a friend, and due to several reasons, Taku-nii pretended to be her boyfriend in high school.”

“…So you knew after all.”

“Well, that’s because I asked him. I didn’t have any reason to keep it secret, I simply thought that it wasn’t necessary to tell you.”

“…”

Last night…

When we returned to the apartment, Takkun gave me a full explanation.

Arisa Odaki was a high school classmate who he met again at LiliSTART and were now both working together as interns.

And also.

She seemed to have been Takkun’s ‘girlfriend’ for a while.

Although he said she wasn’t his real girlfriend.

“When she was in high school, Arisa-san had a problem with a stalker. It looks like a man who she rejected was following her secretly to her home. That’s why I asked Taku-nii to pretend to be her boyfriend. I thought that the stalker would give up if he did.”

“W-Why did you ask Takkun…? Wasn’t there anyone else?”

“Because it was convenient. Both of them already went to the same school and were in the same class, and you know, Arisa-san is very cute, isn’t she?”

“…”

She was certainly cute.

A young, happy woman with a kind of charm I didn’t have.

“If any other man pretended to be her boyfriend, he would use the opportunity to get closer to Arisa-san, and we’d be back to square one. That’s why I thought that it would be easier if I asked someone who would absolutely not fall in love with Arisa-san.”

“…T-That’s why you asked Takkun?”

“Yes, because Taku-nii wouldn’t fall for anyone other than you, mom,” Miu asserted as if it was the absolute truth.

Hearing her assert it like that… made me feel a little embarrassed.

“Taku-nii seemed unwilling, but in the end, he accepted. He’s very kind after all. But the amazing part was what happened after that,” said Miu in an amazed voice that was full of admiration. “Taku-nii wanted to stop being her fake boyfriend as soon as possible… so he solved the stalker case in the blink of an eye.”

“He solved it?!”

“Yes. He investigated a lot and confronted him with stalking evidence, but didn’t limit himself to just cornering him, but he also listened to his story… He left nothing unresolved and nobody came out of that displeased.”

“What’s with that super competent and capable behavior…?”

I don’t know if it was because he thought it would seem like bragging, but it seems like he didn’t go into too much detail about it. I didn’t know he had done something so cool.

Solving his classmate’s stalking case.

What the heck?

He’s basically a manga protagonist.

You did something so cool without my knowledge?

“Taku-nii is really amazing. He’s smart, athletic, his looks aren’t bad, he’s kind and friendly. If he hadn’t fallen in love with you, he’d be more normal and popular, just like a harem romcom protagonist.”

“…S-Stop, don’t say that.”

That makes me look like a villainess. It’s like I seduced the main character, who was supposed to take the harem route, into a weird side route.

The childhood friend’s mom route.

…It definitely looks like a fan disc spin-off.

“Well, the stalker case was resolved… but there was another incident after that.”

“…”

“Arisa-san fell in love with Taku-nii.”

I heard the story about that yesterday.

Takkun told me everything honestly.

“I chose Taku-nii to be her pretend boyfriend so he wouldn’t fall in love with Arisa-san, but I didn’t expect her to fall for Taku-nii… It was completely unexpected.”

I don’t think it was so unexpected.

From her point of view, Takkun must have seemed like a hero at that moment.

It wasn’t strange that she fell for him.

“Of course, Taku-nii rejected her immediately, and that’s all. Well, that’s what I heard from my friend.” After a sigh, Miu continued. “Seriously, that was everything, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“…”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Taku-nii not mentioning it. I think he simply didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t think it was interesting for you. You know, hearing about how another woman confessed to him.”

“…I know.”

I didn’t have any intention to blame Takkun.

He didn’t do anything wrong, it was the opposite, he acted in an unexpectedly heroic way. It would be weird to be jealous just because he was confessed to in the past… Even if Takkun really had a girlfriend in the past, it would be weird to worry about an ex from years ago.

But…

“…B-But, after all, there’s a part of me that’s restless… That cute and young woman that confessed to Takkun a long time ago… is now working as an intern with him now.”

A reunion with an ex-girlfriend at work.

Somehow… It seemed like a situation straight from a popular drama.

What should I do?

What do I do if that old flame is reignited?

“I-If she’s still in love with Takkun and gets close to him during the internship, then…!”

“I guess it’s because you worry about such absurd things that Taku-nii kept quiet about it.”

“…Ugh.”

While I groaned after receiving a lethal hit, Miu continued indifferently.

“You worry too much. Even if Arisa-san did something by chance, there’s no way Taku-nii would fall in love with her. Besides, didn’t you introduce yourself to her properly yesterday?”

“U-Uhm about that…”

“Yes?”

“You see… T-Takkun, he tried to introduce me properly, but…” I said, thinking about what happened yesterday.

Last night.

“…Well, I guess I’m something of an ex-girlfriend.”

Immediately after Arisa-san said that and my head went blank…

“H-Hey, Arisa.”

Takkun stopped her with a panicked look.

“What are you talking about…? You’re not my ex-girlfriend.”

“Ahaha. Fine, something like that.”

“It’s not fine. It wasn’t anything like that…” said Takkun, with a troubled and exasperated look.

Then, he looked at me with anxious eyes.

“Ayako-san… Arisa is a friend from high school and now works with me as an intern… just to clarify, she’s not my ex-girlfriend. I’ll explain it later.”

Takkun spoke hurriedly, but firmly denied that she was her ex-girlfriend. But my drunken head couldn’t follow the pace at which things were developing.

“By the way, Takumi-kun, who’s that?” Arisa-san looked at me and asked.

It was a very natural question, asked with a face full of curiosity.

It was as if she couldn’t imagine our relationship.

And most likely couple was the last thing she could have imagined.

“She’s…” Takkun opened his mouth with a serious expression.

I knew what he was about to say.

I was sure that he intended to introduce me.

She’s my girlfriend and we’re in a serious relationship, or something like that.

The moment I realized that, I…

“…I’m his aunt!”

I don’t know why I blurted out those words.

“I’m his aunt from his mother’s side. I’m letting him live with me while he’s doing his internship in Tokyo.”

“Uh…? A-Ayako-san..,?”

“Oh, I see. Nice to meet you.”

Arisa-san seemed to have believed my lie at the time without questioning it.

“I was drinking a few cups with some colleagues from work. I got a little drunk, so I asked Takkun to come pick me up. This boy is really reliable.”

“Ahaha. That’s true, Takumi-kun is a really reliable man.”

“Right? Arisa-san, please keep getting along with Takkun.”

“Yes, it will be my pleasure.”

I desperately tried to act as his relative and kept up a superficial conversation.

I don’t know what kind of face Takkun was making.

I was too scared to look at him.

“…Uwaa, what the hell?” said Miu from the bottom of her heart with a dismayed voice. “Why did you lie like that?”

“…I-I don’t know. I just… felt too embarrassed to call myself Takkun’s girlfriend at that moment.”

I think I panicked a little.

I was too drunk to think clearly and then got some crazy information about an ex-girlfriend.

It was before I listened to the detailed explanation about him being a fake boyfriend and such, so I thought that perhaps she really was his ex-girlfriend, that Takkun liked that girl in the past… and I didn’t know what to do.

“…I suddenly found about an ex-girlfriend, and she was a young and cute modern university student… On the other hand, I was a grandma over 30, I had gotten drunk on my way home from work and someone had to pick me up. In such a pathetic situation, saying that I was his current girlfriend was a little…”

“Hmm, so basically, you ran away.”

“I-I didn’t run away…”

“You did. You thought that you were losing as a woman, right?”

I couldn’t say anything back.

True… I guess I ran away.

I ran away and played dumb with convenient lies.

I ran away from the enemy in the middle of a sudden assault.

I didn’t think I could win, so I decided not to fight.

I knew in my head that this wasn’t about winning or losing.

“I’m sure it must have been shocking for Taku-nii.”

“Uuh… I-I guess so.”

I’m really sorry for what I did.

I had resolved myself before we started going out.

And despite that… I couldn’t think that I was so affected by an ex-girlfriend.

I’m so pathetic.

“Even if Arisa-san was his real ex-girlfriend, there’s no need to worry so much, because Taku-nii’s current girlfriend is you, mom.”

“…Yes.”

“In the first place, I don’t think it’s possible for Taku-nii to have an ex-girlfriend. He’s a man that has been in love with you for so long that it’s kind of absurd how devoted he’s been,” said Miu with an ironic and somewhat proud laugh. “If we look at it from his perspective, you’re a woman so attractive that he’s been in love with you for 10 years, so you should be timorously confident in yourself.”

“…Yes, thanks, Miu.” I thanked her and added, “But you misused the word ‘timorously.’ I think you meant resolutely, since timorously means things like ‘fear’ and ‘nervousness’.” TL/N: Miu says Buzen (憮然), and Ayako corrects her to Kizen (毅然). I tried my best to localize it. (Meaning something like to be discouraged and to be resolute, respectively)

“Ugh… D-Don’t retort with your editorial tone!” Shouted Miu in embarrassment.

She seemed to have been embarrassed from being corrected during her decisive line. I could’ve let it go, but my job wouldn’t allow it.

“Haa… Geez. Mom, you seem to be taking things surprisingly well.”

“Ahaha, speaking with you made me feel a little better.”

It did make me feel better… and made me remember.

The determination I had before we started going out.

The determination I showed in front of Miu.

A few weeks ago, during the summer vacation.

When I had wrongly thought that Miu liked Takkun… and even then, I still wanted to go out with him.

I decided that I wouldn’t give up on him, even if it was the man my daughter loved.

Although, in the end, it was all a misunderstanding… but my determination at the time was genuine.

I’m so pathetic.

I need to be firm.

Remember.

Remember the determination at that moment and keep it close to your heart.

Yes.

Am I not that same woman who tried to fight her daughter?

In that case… I can’t allow myself to lose against a fake ex.

♠

“…I don’t know anything about those things, why don’t you do whatever you want?”

The reply coming from the phone was pretty cold.

At the apartment in Tokyo.

After a quick lunch by myself, I called my friend Satoya before starting the other chores.

I called him to ask about Ayako-san. I was clinging to the smallest hope possible, but his answer was even colder than expected.

“You don’t know…?

“I’m not in the mood right now. The due date for this report is soon… Ah shit, this is all because you went to Tokyo,” Satoya complained exaggeratedly. “Since I wasn’t going to have you with me starting in September, I thought about being independent and at least trying to do reports on my own… but I need to come clean. Until now, all I had to do was go to class with you, study together and do the reports together!”

“That’s not my fault, is it?”

He’s transferring the responsibility onto me. No, in a way, isn’t this my fault for pampering him so much?

“Anyways, I’m busy, so don’t call me about your dumb problems.”

“D-Dumb problems, you say? It’s something serious…”

“They’re dumb. In fact, I don’t even get what’s worrying you.”

“As I was saying… I made Ayako-san feel awkward.”

I couldn’t forget it.

Last night…

Ayako-san’s face when Arisa said that she was my ‘ex-girlfriend.’

Ah, seriously… what did I do?

I should have told her about Arisa from the start. Since I hesitated and hid it, it was exposed in the worst way possible.

I was full of regret, but…

“And what about it?”

Satoya seemed really irritated and dealt with my worries coldly.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, so you don’t need to worry. Who cares that you reunited with your fake ex? If you didn’t do anything that you’d need to feel guilty about, then just relax.”

“…No, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do something wrong. After all, it was my poor handling of it that led to Ayako-san feeling awkward.”

“And that’s why I’m telling you to stop,” he said in a stronger tone. “I feel pity for Ayako-san… You’re treating her like a glass sculpture.”

“…”

“It’s not like you got caught cheating, so what are you worrying about?” He continued with a deeply dismayed voice. “You may think that you don’t want to hurt her, but if you need to worry about every action you take, it’s going to start bothering her too. That’s not being kind… that’s being scared.”

Satoya’s words were harsher than ever, maybe because he was angry about the report’s due date.

Or maybe the due date had nothing to do with it, and it was simply because I was being pathetic.

The strong condemning words pierced my heart.

“…Well, I get how you feel. for like a decade now Ayako-san is a woman you’ve longed for. You finally managed to go out with a woman like that, you need to be careful and attentive so you don’t offend her… I get why you want to dedicate yourself to her as if you were serving a princess.” He continued. “But Ayako-san isn’t an unreachable existence, she’s next to you right now, isn’t she? She’s not a princess living in a castle, she’s living under the same roof as you, isn’t she? You need to graduate from that unrequited love mentality you got.”

“…You’re right.” I nodded strongly. “It’s just as you say, I’m sorry for bothering you with my dumb problems.”

“Don’t mind it. But well… if you really want to thank me, even a little, I’d would be nice if you could help me with the report…”

“I can’t help you with a report for a class I didn’t take.”

“…True. Pray for me.”

After I ended the call…

I sat on the sofa, looked at the roof and exhaled.

“…Treating her as a glass sculpture, huh?”

That wasn’t my intention.

But from an outside perspective, it may very well have looked like that.

I thought that I was treasuring her… but I wasn’t treating her properly.

I wasn’t behaving like a real boyfriend.

“…Damn it, what the hell am I doing?”

Apparently, I had been unknowingly dragging down my relationship with this unrequited love mentality.

I wished for her to be my girlfriend, I didn’t want her to be with anyone else… so I confessed when I couldn’t bear these feelings any longer.

And despite that… when we started going out, I got scared and the only thing I could do was treat her as if she were the most delicate thing in the world.

I lowered myself and put her in a pedestal.

I belittled myself and decided that my significant other was above me.

That’s no different from when it was an unrequited love.

She’s no longer that unreachable woman that I yearned for.

She’s not a goddess or a princess; she’s my girlfriend, one on the same standing who I can walk shoulder to shoulder with.

“I need to graduate.”

Let’s graduate.

Let’s get rid of this unrequited love of 10 years.

♥

That night…

Before dinner, we took some time to talk.

It wasn’t something either of us asked for, it simply happened naturally.

“…”

“…”

Sitting across from each other at the living room table, there was an awkward pause.

“Uhm…”

“Listen.”

Our voices clashed when we tried to break the silence.

“Ah, sorry, go ahead, Ayako-san.”

“N-No. You go first, Takkun.”

After this exchange, there was another moment of silence.

“…Well, then I’ll start,” said Takkun and straightened his posture. “Ayako-san… Sorry for not telling you about Arisa.” He bowed firmly and continued, “I should have told you everything from the beginning… I was thinking too much and decided not to say anything, but it seems like my actions caused some distrust instead.”

“I-It’s fine. I know it was a considerate gesture on your part.”

“…No, that wasn’t it,” with a pained look, Takkun continued. “I was certainly thinking about you in my own way, but… in the end, I just afraid.”

“Afraid…?”

“Afraid of you hating me, even if a little.”

“…”

“I’m really happy to finally be able to go out with you, someone who I’ve always loved, so I wanted to avoid any discomfort for you, no matter how small. I didn’t want you to like me any less, not even a little. So… I ran from the problem instead of properly confronting it. I ran away from you and Arisa.”

“…”

I tried remembering.

Remembering this week of cohabitation.

Takkun was really kind.

Too kind, too gentle, too perfect.

He was doing all the chores and cooked meals for the both of us. He did this on top of his internship which he wasn’t used to and supported me a lot at the same time so I could focus on my own job.

He may have seemed like the ‘ideal boyfriend’ that every woman dreams of.

But.

That kind of perfection… may have been a red flag, a sign of anxiety.

He was so afraid of me hating him that he acted with excessive perfection.

“Even though I managed to start dating you… I haven’t changed at all from my unrequited love mentality. I thought that I could deal with everything… but I’m not going to do that anymore,” said Takkun.

He looked straight at my eyes.

“Ayako-san, Arisa Odaki is my high school friend. In the past, someone asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend, she confessed to me afterwards and a few other things happened, but… I don’t see her as anything besides that. The only person I have always loved is you, Ayako-san,” said Takkun clearly and energetically.

His words of love were so passionate that I was embarrassed to hear them.

“I’m going to be with Arisa during the rest of my internship, but I won’t have any weird feelings for her, that’s just impossible. Please, believe in me.”

“…Yes, all right. I’ll believe in you,” I said naturally.

I wasn’t acting tough or being considerate, I really believed his words from the bottom of my heart. His frank attitude gave me a feeling of security.

Takkun smiled as if he was relieved.

“…I’m really sorry for not telling you from the beginning, we could have skipped all this mess.”

“Yes… I would’ve liked that too.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry… I’m not one to talk either. It’s my turn now,” I said.

I also straightened my posture.

“I’m sorry. I lied to Arisa-san telling her I was your aunt.”

“…”

“When I suddenly heard that she was your ex-girlfriend, my mind went blank and I didn’t know what to do… Although that’s not an excuse. After all, I was also scared of having to compete with a young woman like Arisa-san.”

A cute university student 10 years younger.

A girl that seemed to have some sort of relationship with Takkun.

In front of a girl like her, I couldn’t openly call myself his girlfriend.

I tried to run away from the situation with a convenient lie.

“I thought that I couldn’t win in a competition, I didn’t want to be compared to her… I’m such an idiot, this isn’t about winning or losing.”

“Ayako-san…”

“You were also surprised, right?”

“No, I…”

He tried to support me on reflex, but after a brief pause…

“…Yes, that’s right.” Takkun lowered his gaze and nodded. “I wanted to do it properly, to introduce you as the woman I’m going out with.”

“…Yes, I’m sorry. I won’t run again, no matter who I’m talking with, I’ll make sure to proudly say that I’m your girlfriend,” I said.

I looked straight at him.

“I’ll be more confident.”

I seriously have no confidence at all. I’m old, a beginner in love and I always mess up during the important moments.

But… I won’t belittle myself like that anymore.

“I know I’m not perfect… but you fell in love with me just the way I am, right?”

I won’t believe in myself, but in him.

I’ll believe in the Takkun who’s loved me for 10 years.

That way, I’ll be able to believe in myself.

“That’s right,” said Takkun. “I’ve been in love with you for 10 years, because… well, it’s possible that I had a bit of a stalker behavior, but I fell in love with you mainly because you’re a wonderful woman.”

“…”

“Because you’re really attractive, I was able to love you for 10 years.”

Ah…

A warm feeling is filling up my heart.

Geez… You’re always like this, Takkun.

He’s humble, looks down on himself and is insecure at times.

But when he talks about his feelings for me, he says it so confidently that I feel embarrassed.

“…Geez, you’re exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not.”

“I-If you say it like that, then I can say the same about you. I’m a wonderful woman… because an attractive and charming man like you fell in love with me.”

“T-That’s not true, I’m not a great man.”

“You are, the greatest of all.”

“…Then you’re the cutest and most beautiful because a great man like me fell in love with you.”

“In that case, since a cute and beautiful woman like me fell in love with you, that makes you an even more upright and manly man…”

“…”

We let ourselves go and argued until we lost all sense of time.

We realized how embarrassing we were being.

“Why are we competing…?”

“Seriously… It was pretty disgusting for a while.”

“…Fufu.”

“Ahaha.”

After some awkwardness, we started to laugh.

A warm sense of peace seemed to permeate the room.

Exhaling, I continued, “…We’ve been too reserved with one another, haven’t we?”

This was our first relationship.

And we suddenly started to live together.

We were reserved with one another and got anxious on our own.

Even though we were supposed to live together, we started to fight against demons we created ourselves.

“We need to say what we want properly.”

There’s no need to put ourselves down or raise others up.

We have to treat each other as equals.

Even if it’s only 3 months, we’re going to live together.

Maybe in the future… maybe one day we’ll become a family.

But things aren’t going to work simply because we feel like we’re in love…

“Takkun, ever since we started living together, you’ve done a lot for me and I’m very happy about it… but, please don’t pressure yourself so much.”

“I’m not pressuring myself, I did it because I wanted to. It’s not a bother at all, in fact, it’s very gratifying.”

“I-I didn’t mean that… What I want to say is…”

It was embarrassing, but I decided to say it anyways.

We need to say what we want to properly.

“I-I want to spoil you more!”

His eyes widened in shock.

I tried my best to hold back my shame and continued, “It’s not fair… you’re always spoiling me… I also… want to spoil you more, Takkun.”

I want you to be spoiled.

I want to spoil you more.

I want you to be more selfish.

I want you to ask me to do more and more things for you.

“Well, maybe it’s my fault for being so unreliable… b-but even then, you’re way too attentive. You always pick up the clothes I leave out, you clean the bathroom before I notice and you replace the toilet paper when it runs out… Why are you such a handsomely competent man?! It’s fine to be a little careless too!”

“…No, uhm…”

Takkun seemed confused. No wonder though, because my complaints sounded like an accusation.

“I also want you to spoil me… b-but, isn’t it kind of gross for a man to act spoiled?”

“O-Of course not. It’s the opposite, we women feel attracted to that unexpected weakness that men show. There’s a small part of me that wants to think ‘Geez, this man is a mess without me’.”

…No, what the hell am I saying now?

I think I may have been a little too honest.

“A-Anyways… Don’t put too much pressure on yourself by trying to look good for me. You can depend on me more. That way… yes, I’ll also be happy.”

“A-All right,” Takkun nodded clumsily. “I’ll try my best to be a little more spoiled.”

“I don’t think that’s something you should be trying hard on…”

I gave a wry smile to his honest reply.

“Uhm, but the same goes for you, Ayako-san. Don’t pressure yourself too much, and if there’s something you want me to do, please let me know.”

“…Yes, that’s fine.”

And then.

“In that case, Takkun, can I ask you to do something for me right now?”

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